Skip to main content

tv   Red Eye  FOX News  July 10, 2014 12:00am-1:01am PDT

12:00 am
twitter @megynkelly. stay tuned because hannity has rick perry, who had a sit-down with president obama tonight. that ought to be interesting. >> tonight on "red eye." >> coming up on "red eye" how radical did lou daabs and his friends get over the weekend? it is the world's most electrifing newsman and do they think he hasn't improved much after seven years on the air? >> they still can't get their act together. doesn't that make you frustrated? >> and finally did the president admit he still watches "red eye" every morning while getting dressed for work? >> that's not a bad thing. that's not unamerican. that's a good thing. >> none of these stories on "red eye" tonight. >> and now let's welcome our guests.
12:01 am
well she's got one hand in her pocket and another in her lap and the other is waiving at you. i am here with joanne, born with a third hand, nosuchunsky. it is true. she is weird. he is the only person alive whose eyes are bigger than his stomach. it is tv's andy levy. and we are happy to have him back, and he is happy we are 500 feet from his school. it is writer and comedian jesse joyce. he will be performing at the house of comedy in phoenix, arizona no less august 13th through the 17th. good for you, weird guy. his favorite form of exercise is swimming in his giant bin filled with money. he has so much cash when he goes to the club he makes it monsoon. it is lou daabs, host of "lou daabs tonight" week nights 7:00 p.m. eastern on the fox business network. he is the co author of a new book -- he is also the co author of a book called "border war." >> a block. the lede, that's the first
12:02 am
story. >> hey, greg do you pay taxes or are you so hot you ask for a furnace? >> will the boss be tops? they predict that by 2025 machines will be the dominant species on the planet. he says unless the government steps in to regulate the development of artificial intelligence they will reach the singularity, the point when ai surpasses uni. look at him. what was the point of that picture, people? what happens then? the machines will turn humans into syborgs. we will have more time with arms just like joanne and think everything is great. the machines will view us an ununpredictable species, the same way we view harmful insects.
12:03 am
and points out robots seem to be learning self-preservation. camouflaging themselves as george foreman grills. we may as well have fun and dance before we are robot slaves. ♪ >> that is the scarest face i have ever seen and i have seen a lot of scary faces, people. i work here. kidding, i love this joint, lou. are you terrified? fascinated by this robot revolution or financing it? >> i hadn't thought about an investment opportunity, but i have to say it is 32 years away. that's pretty quick evolution. or it is a long-term problem and there are other priorities
12:04 am
we may worry about. i find it a fascinating idea. i just don't see how we get there. >> i can see it. the exponential increase in information as things get smaller, the inevitability of the fact that we are the gods giving birth to machines. yon we can escape this, jesse. is humanity as doomed as your fashion choices? >> i am dressed rather nicely. i have khaki and a shirt with buttons. lou daabs is a respected journalist and i knew i was going to say [bleep] in front of him a few times so i thought i would dress like a civilized -- anyways. >> i will turn my chair this way. >> i don't know why you are so worried about the future, greg. i said it before and i will say it again. you will have been dead by whatever disease keeps you tiny by the year 2045. but i will say that there is a lot of problems. people are upset and there has
12:05 am
been a lot of talk since the computer a couple weeks ago passed the test. >> he thought he was a 13-year-old swedish boy. i have been there. >> a ukrainian boy. it is a test that determines whether a computer can replicate human emotion. but the whole thing is [bleep] because andy has failed that test three times. >> i made that joke the night we c did the story about that. >> about you? >> yeah. >> i have more important things to do than watch this program when i am not on it. >> that's nice to know. andy, isn't it safe to say there is no way to stop it? it is going to happen, and the worst part is i hate to agree with jesse. we will all be dead and we will miss out on the immortality that our children or our friends of children will have? >> first i want to point out when you introd the story you said it is the point when ai surpasses uni.
12:06 am
you sacrificed grammar for a rhyme. >> i am always amazed because we always do these stories and you act like are you scared that this is going to happen. the fact is it doesn't bother you when the nsa's machines reach into your private life. it won't bother you when the machines reach into your brain and make you one of them. i will go a step further and say as soon as you see the machines starting to get the upper hand you will sellout your human brothers and sisters and find a way to scroin them. >> that is my point. i never denied that. i said if i was in the movie road warrior, i would not be the guy on the run. i would be the person chasing them. if there is an apocalypse you should be the ma rodder and not the victim. when the machines take over, i will be there. i will be the benedict arnold right there going take out my brain. joanne, would you consider dating a cyborg? you came close with a joe nuss brother. >> that's true. it raises a bunch of ethical
12:07 am
questions. if they will start populating. like should they hold office? should they regulate themselves? should we marry them? they are becoming more and more human like. i don't know if it is the same test you are talking about, but they did one to see if robots could lie. >> yes. >> and they do. they do it to get ahead. if you cannot trust a robot, who can you trust? >> that a is so true. that was also the test that is getting a lot of play. i hope we don't get in trouble. >> interestingly enough, the puppeteer who made greg fashioned it so he couldn't lie and if he did his nose would grow. >> thank you for that. i like the idea robots running for office. you can probe them cash dash program them to say no so they don't spend money. i will throw this out to the group here. would you give us your consciousness to live forever? that's the issue here. if machines create their own
12:08 am
artificial consciousness, it is not your own. if they are able to rebuild lou daabs and make you immortal for the rest of your life, but the lou daabs the way you are is replaced by a robotic one. >> how do you know if you live forever if you lost consciousness? >> that's my point. >> if you are not conscious what is the point? >> that's the same point i had with tele -- teleportation. >> this could be the first television segment. i am excited to be here. >> way to evade the question. >> the weird thing is it is in favor of sigh borings running for office. we have a cyborge president. sorry, i meant kenyan. >> it could be both. if there is an artificial consciousness, jesse, who needs your consciousness?
12:09 am
would you be willing to sacrifice that? say you are 80 years old. would you be willing to die and be reborn at a robot? >> lou daabs is a respected journalist expru turning this into a stoner's couch in santa monica. >> i will move on. the only savior we have is bad weather. rain could kill the robots. the hockey mama wants to impeach obama. sarah palin has a solution to america's problems which we will discuss in the latest installment of -- did you see what we did there? the graphics wouldn't let us do impeachment so we did improving peaches for men today so they didn't know we wrote an impeachment graphic. >> good job keeping that a on the down low jie. it is not like the graphics people are watching this show. they are off doing horrible drugs at a downtown bar. and a column for bright palin says the influx
12:10 am
of young, illegal immigrants is, quote, the last straw. not sure what that means, but she claims obama is deliberately opening the border and letting a, quote, untold number kick off their shoes and come on in. she says it is time to impeach the many impeachables. if after all of this he is not impeachable, then no one is. the next day palin admitted that perhaps she was overreacting. >> impeachment is a message that has to be sent to our president that we are not going to put up with this lawlessness. i really want congress to do its job, the constitutional power they have to halt an imperial presidency. >> i was wrong. well, the border. crisis gross. president obama is shaking hands a with horse head man in denver, colorado. apparently that's sarah jessica parker's grandfather. he doesn't have time for securing our border, but he has time for that fellow. i like to dress up, mr. president. here is a video i recently made.
12:11 am
>> i don't know anymore, lou. sometimes i wonder why i do this. lou, there is a lot of people on the right doing this impeachment stuff. doesn't that actually hurt your cause? it is unrealistic, and it actually kind of makes -- it makes everybody sound more strident rather than sophisticated. is that a fair point? >> america wants to sound sophisticated. by my count 10 republicans in the entire republican party of south dakota called for the impeachment of the president. i do think that it is not micah. my cause. i would like to underline that. i don't think it makes much sense to impeach him. one is it goes to the senate
12:12 am
where there will be a verdict that will be not guilty and secondly if there were a mistake, joe biden would be president. i don't see it helping a lot. >> that actually would be awesome. actually if he was running for president i would vote for him. it would be four years of wonderful, wonderful fun, jesse. has sarah palin opened your eyes to the truth? >> she opened my eyes to the smart collection of blazers that talbot's is having a sale on that looks like a rep till yen bumblebee. that was an interesting look. that was a great thought. coming from the potentially worst vice president we could have ever had to the other worst to become president. i personally before i make up my mind will wait for the other reality show beauty queen pageant honey boo boo weighs
12:13 am
in on domestic policy. >> i find that deeply offensive and i don't have time to respond. isn't it time we impeach this lady hating kenyan born interloper? >> welcome to the party sara come lately. some of us have been calling for this president's impeachment for a longtime now, greg. i originally called for it during the 2008 campaign. >> i called for it before he was president. >> i think we are thought leaders. say what you want about sarah palin. she knows her buzz words and her buzz phrases. fundamental transformation of america, check. discrediting american exceptionalism, check. real americans, well, she says we average americans so i will give her a check on that. bipartisan elite, check. this is not red meat. this is steak tartar. it doesn't get any rawer than this. >> joanne, if not now, then when? >> maybe later.
12:14 am
obama needs to have a slice of humble peach pie. maybe it is to soak up the booze he had in his stomach. i get what sarah palin is saying there. her one metaphor of the batter ited wife, i don't know that that really hit. >> what happened? >> i didn't mean to do that. it is very polarizing. >> nobody ever means to do it. >> that's true. that's always the excuse. >> sometimes the dinner gets burned, but no one ever means to do it. >> she has a great way with words much like jesse and for that i appreciate her taking a stand. that's good. >> we could go further on this border stuff, but we have covered that enough, haven't we? let's talk about this. are meat eaters planet mistreaters? an oxford university study found carnivores have a carbon
12:15 am
footprint twice as large as vegetarians. fans of pork chops and steak had he highest foot print because more energy is required to raise animals than plants. and cow farts produce massive amounts of methane. tell me about it. meat eating is not the only way to stick it to the planet. take roll in coal. sounds like a country singer. it is a trend where epa hating truckers modified engines and puts thick smoke into the face of cyclists and annoying prius owners. >> do you smoke? >> what? >> do you smoke? >> well stand by.
12:16 am
>> jesse, i think that is terrible. what do you think? >> the bat mobile used to do that. >> and the green hornet dropped tacks or something. >> this is way better. >> it is way better. say something. >> i don't understand how it is possible. guy fieri is keeping the population under control. do you understand what would happen if he became a ve dp a a n and stopped wearing bandannas? >> i thought it was interesting. learning a steak is what is left after you separate the hide and the methane and it works neatly. >> according to the logic we should kill all man-eaters, tigers, lie a yens, sharks, cows, pigs. it is not just humans. by the way, we are all earth ligs. a lamb is an earth ling. >> you are going back to the conscious issue and now we are moving to the collective conscious issue. >> they are siners too, andy.
12:17 am
>> telling people to stop eating meet because it is bad for the inenvironment is a starter. starter-- nonstarter. >> it doesn't mean what you think about global warming, even if they believe it is real they won't stop eating meat. can we talk about the coal rollers? they are idiots. >> i am convinced environmentalists created them. there is a subset of people on the right and the left. they take the right and piss off the other side. it is childish and unhelpful. it hurts your cause. stop doing it. >> it is the environmental -- what a is the word? >> i kind of like it. there is something about spewing methane and pet trough chemicals that makes a lot of sense in modern american society. it is fundamental to the
12:18 am
economy. >> great for my pours. >> are you a man-eater, but are you a meat eater as well? >> same thing. it is both. lots of co2. the argument i think is insane a is that the cars are farting, right? >> yes, cows farting. >> vegetables and beans, a vegetarian diet are known to be dpasy. gassy. so vegetarian farts -- >> go on, go on. >> she can't even get through it. >> it is because i said fart so many times. >> are you 7 now? >> i don't know why, but i think it is funny. >> there is nothing unfunny about a fart. >> it is all in the timing. >> all right, on that note, coming up, jesse makes fun of me for being short and i remind him that tall people
12:19 am
die earlier. i think i won that one. >> you sure did. >> what will teenagers be when they grow up? something conservative. i say legal and therefore boring.
12:20 am
12:21 am
12:22 am
do today's teens have a right word lean. the "new york times" says that contrary to the common wisdom that young people are mostly liberal, teens who grow up during the obama years may see things differently. they point to new research that shows new generations have i'd logical identities formed when they are young and the youngest voters in the next presidential election were born in 1998 and they don't remember much about the bush presidency.
12:23 am
and as he puts it, they instead are coming of age with a democratic president who seems unable to fix the world's problems. probably because he causes them, am i right, lou? anyway, we asked a typical teen to comment. >> i just want to point out you said typical teen and what you meant was bang -- bangladeshi dj. >> do you think they will look at the failures of this legislation and say we need more government? >> it sounds so hopeful, doesn't it? but em money nateing -- but
12:24 am
emanating i wouldn't give it a dime's worth of credence. >> next story. >> jesse, you hang out with a lot of teens at the foot -- food court. do you talk politics or is it mostly about "vampire diaries." >> both. >> i figured. >> i just want to point out according to this article, one of their main sources, it said my colleague created an on-line interactive graphic base that lets you track the political view since 1937 as one of their main sources for the article. except it only counts for white voters. minority voters are unpredictable. that's a flawed -- that's a significant portion of the population you are not counting when you are saying that teens will be more conservative based on that graph. that's like saying that according to our poll we took of toby keith fans, 100% of
12:25 am
americans think corn dogs are a vegetable. >> a jab at toby keith. >> i am just saying you can't use them as the control. >> i understand. i am not that dumb, am i? sometimes i wonder. joe, something, something, something, drunk, something, something, dating athletes. your thoughts? >> great. so kids today, they are so overexposed to all of the media and everything. i think everyone is very aware which is a wood and thing. which is a good thing. you can't ignore everything in politics, but with the growth of technology kids are used to customizing everything and getting everything exactly the way they want it. i feel like what is going to grow is apathy toward the government. if they can't get everything they want in one candidate or party they will say see you later. >> i think you have a point there and might i say i am spreesed? >> thank you. i am surprised? >> thank you. >> that was rude. >> i was pretending to be
12:26 am
somebody else. >> you do a lot of charity work with teens. did you notice they are more conservative and terrified of you? >> it is column a and column b. >> what kind -- of charity is this? >> it benefits andy levy. >> i am with jesse and it looks like it might be good news for republicans. but it is not all teens. it mainly applies to white teens and whites are a shrinking percentage of the voters. i am not buying they may be more conservative. they are not on social issues. they are trending libertarian and they will be liberals who think the government can still be the answer, but it has to be better run. >> that's a wood and point. my feeling is the assumption is they are actually paying attention. i don't think they are paying attention. i think they are immersed in pop culture due to all of these things available to them that what we have is three
12:27 am
planets, cnn, msnbc and fox news doing this. >> wouldn't that be one planet and two satellites? >> you are right. >> he is so much smarter than you are. >> he makes me feel small. smaller than i already am. >> i think you are right. the kids with their ear buds. >> their walk man. >> and listening to their izzy. >> do you remember how fresh and young obama was in 2008? he was embraced by the youth vote. the milleni a als have abandoned him. he is tiresome and stayed and a failure. what we don't know is has he been abandoned because he is too conservative, too liberal, too disappointing?
12:28 am
what is it? >> you are seeing -- you have a large group of liberals who think he has gone too far. my theory too is there is a natural instinct to rebel when you are young. if everyone on campus is thinking one way, the radical will be the right wing. everybody is left. could that be the flip? did you see what i did with my hand? >> you don't have to answer. i want to let it hang out there. like a hanging tree of wisdom. coming up, want to know what a google co founder thinks of part-time work? you could google it and you can wait for me to talk about it. >> tonight's c block is sponsored by it is not banned yet. it makes you feel great so you know the government will take it away. buy it in a store before it can be purchased.
12:29 am
available now while supplies are legal.
12:30 am
12:31 am
12:32 am
is working less the key to success? the googleco-founder in a recent interview said that only something blah, blah, blah, go. >> the idea that everyone needs to work frantically to
12:33 am
meet the people's needs is just not true. i was talking about the problem that they don't have enough jobs in the uk. so they have been trying people to hire two part-time people instead of one full time. so the people can have a part-time job instead of no job. it is a slightly greater cost for employers. the extension of that is you have global unemployment, you just reduce work time. >> joanne, i can -- you can listen to him for hours, couldn't you? >> i am going to -- it is flattery. >> that is like being forced to watch "the big bang theory." >> except nerdier. >> and funnier. >>a mathematical genius struggle with fractions. >> i can't complain. did you see how i opened that segment? jesse, you were recently fired from your job at hot topic for
12:34 am
selling weed to teenage customers. >> i was. can we stop making the jokes. i was fired. >> is this wealthy nerd correct? >> yeah. somebody tell bill and melinda gates to stop teaching third world countries to stop [bleep] in their drinking water. they just needed downtime from getting malaria and growing rice on a gravel hillside. >> can you grow rice on gravel 1234. >> no, you can't. it is a flawed concept. they are not successful. >> jesse, even though you got fired i am confident you will land a on your skateboard. >> that's fun you did that. >> that was good. thank you, lou. >> lou, you work hard -- i was going to lou. >> we are with you. >> you work hard a and you play hard a and you have that tattooed on your chest. what do you make of your suggestion?
12:35 am
>> the suggestion is -- well, i think first of all it is suspect. here is la ry page a and the first thing he does is seek value validation from another billionaire, richard branson. that to me under cuts a lot of what he is trying to articulate so clumsily. >> and he does name drop there which i can't stand. i was just saying that to my good friend kurt russell. who am i talking to now, andy? >> sure. >> i lost track. if you work fewer hours you could have more time to spend with your cats. i think that may be a nice thing for the cats. >> that would be great. i'm sure most people would rather work fewer hours. larry page, boy genius, is right about that. i don't know how he thinks we can afford to though. how does having two people work 20 hours at a job instead of one person working 40 hours, how does that help society? i don't get that at all. businesses do that now to avoid giving benefits and stuff like that.
12:36 am
>> just print more money. >> there you go. >> come on. it is simple. >> that's true. instead of working eight hours for $10 an hour, work four hours for $20 an hour. >> the mathematics -- the economics are absolutely indisputable. >> or just double -- no triple the value of all of our money right now tomorrow. a dollar is three bucks. why can't we do that? >> it usually takes three years to do that. it is federal reserve. are you accelerating it a bit. >> this is the same guy who thengs the world would be a great place if google had access to everybody's health records and could digitize them and can't understand why people are leery about letting them do that. >> they have that access. >> a billionaire is saying people should work less? somebody who is so high up in google and has control of all of these people. it is like a hot person to say
12:37 am
at the obese people at the gym, don't sweat so much. it doesn't hit home. >> he has to be the only nare caw -- narcaliptic person out there. >> spain has been sleepy for years they are sleepy people. >> all right, does being a jerk help you at work? according to new research manipulative narcissists are more likely to succeed at the workplace. that guy who gets promoted may possess a dose of one of the personality traits that psychologists call the dark triad. these traits are well known for the bad behavior they can cause when dominant in people's personalities. at milder levels they can
12:38 am
foster skills that can help people rise to the ranks. just look at mr. daabs. look at him. just look at him. where am i? jesse, you have the dark triad personality trait. instead of climbing the corporate ladder you stab homeless men in the park. >> how am i going to fill my shoe box? >> that's a fair point. >> i just thought you particularly would be fascinated by this. that has to put a b in your bonnet. >> you had to say little, didn't you? >> and i called you a -- bleep [. >> do you need to be a jerk to get ahead? you are a nice guy. look where you are. >> i think most of the people
12:39 am
who get ahead work hard and apply traditional american values and are successes like larry page. >> take a page from page. a little clever there, joanne. is it better to be a jerk or date one? >> they are not jerks, they are just troubled. there is a difference. the guilt will catch up with them exprk if not the guilt, the -- and if not the guilt, the karma. you may be able to look at yourself in the mirror, but you will get ugly real fast. you can't have it all. >> you scare me. i think i have to take a break. there you go teleprompter. wait, do i have to talk to andy? >> you don't have to. >> i didn't ask you? >> no. >> what is going on? what are your thoughts? >> it doesn't matter to me. >> don't sulk. >> i am not sulking. i have jesse here who is a dark triad and you have the dark crystal. i am just very confused.
12:40 am
>> he is like a mythical, tiny animal. he is a fraggle. 1kwr50*eu what? >> it is time to take a break. more stuff is on the way. >> where am i? coming up, we've got everyone's favorite sitcom. also, g
12:41 am
12:42 am
12:43 am
now it is time for a segment that has americans talking. most people call him lou daabs , but to me he is lol-daabs, l-o-l. >> previously on lol-daabs. >> good evening, everybody.
12:44 am
he flat out refuses to acknowledge whether the obama government will deport hundreds of thousands of immigrant children who crossed our borders this year. we are joined by senate candidate purdue. nice to have you with us. 50 stops tomorrow? you are a tough, energetic, fella. >> that is over the next several days, lou. >> that is the greatest show ever, lou. >> it is one of them. i have to admit that. >> what a b roll of san francisco. >> it cost an arm and a leg. >> you will love the big bored. billboard. on to sports news. in the world cup semifinal on tuesday host country brazil struck out, to use a soccer
12:45 am
term, against germany losing 97-1. it was a devastating loss and the country's emotions were sad, very sad to andy levy. that's sad. in other sports news, a young woman threw out the first pitch at a taiwan baseball game. the video is better than the entire three weeks of the world cup.
12:46 am
maybe there are countries that are better than america. lou, is this what baseball needs? >> i would say a better wind up is certainly helpful. >> she had a good -- by the way, she made it. that was a better throw than barak hussein obama. she threw it like a dude. anyway, we won't get into those questions, jesse. >> it is taiwan. she could be a dude. >> that's terrible. >> you are thinking of tie land. of thailand. >> stop it! >> i think they made a mistake. >> you are awful. jesse, i would say you would date her, but she is probably
12:47 am
too old. >> i am wondering why the team has uniforms made out of guy fieri's upholstrey. >> they are incredible. i can't remember the names of the teams, but they have neat names, don't they? >> i have no idea. >> would soccer be more popular in the u.s. if there was seven goals in every game? you know what i notice? other teams was mad when there was scoring going on. nobody likes scoring. >> i am a bit of a soccer pure wrist. i often wax poe wret particular about the beauty of a 0-0 match. what we saw on tuesday was not soccer or futbol. it was a sham an embarrassment. i blame the brazilian defender who seemed to forget he was a defender and huh ban doning his -- and abandoning his post. i want to show you how he was to blame for six of the seven goals. can we roll the tape? if you look here you can -- i am now being told we don't have that tape.
12:48 am
i was going to take you through every goal. >> thank you. >> back to you, greg. >> joanne, back to the first pitch, the only thing you have ever had to throw out is the box your tv dinner comes in because you are lonely and sad. do you think that has a place in baseball? >> is that supposed to be an andy joke? >> i am oddly hungry. i was supposed to throw out the first pitch. they asked are you an major -- an over6ed contortionist? >> you gave up contortion? >> after you dislocate your shoulder 17 times, you kind of have to stop. i love the first pitch. you need to take time on the mound. why wouldn't you? it should be a grand spectacle and she took advantage of that. >> i thought it was beautiful. i thought it was great. i don't care what anybody says.
12:49 am
coming up, by the way, this thing, this was in the five green room to tell people not to take our snacks. it will never see the light of day. i stole it. it came out and now i am destroying it. now they will say don't take the sign and it tells people not to eat our snacks. >> you know how big, strong guys rip a phone book? that's his because he is so little. >> coming up, got videos of animals? send them to us.
12:50 am
12:51 am
12:52 am
did you know a ten-second test could help your business avoid hours of delay caused by slow internet from the phone company? that's enough time to record a memo. idea for sales giveaway. return a call. sign a contract. pick a tie. take a break with mr. duck.
12:53 am
practice up for the business trip. fly to florida. win an award. close a deal. hire an intern. and still have time to spare. check your speed. see how fast your internet can be. switch now and add voice and tv for $34.90. comcast business. built for business. factor. we will have anthony in for the entire hour. why can't i talk tonight? then tomorrow we have dana perino and rick granell. >> e block. last store. that's the last story. >> to pass a test, scientists
12:54 am
predict in the next 30 years knowledge pills will change the way we learn making books and studying obsolete. he predicted the demise of the computer mouse in the 80sand described the future of learning . >> my prediction is that we are going to ingest information. you will swallow a pill and know english. you will swallow a pill and know shakespear. the way to do it is in the blood stream. once it is in your blood stream it gets into the brain and when it knows it is in the brain and the different pieces it deposits it in the right places. >> i don't buy this at all. there are a lot of people that swallow information and it doesn't make them smarter. lou, what do you think? >> it is good to see him again focusing on the future. i think there is a weird -- can i use the expression
12:55 am
singularity and the pill and the cyborg we started with. 24r* is a hole coming together and that must pretend something. >> it is called clever story choices. jesse, would you would get hooked on these pills. >> i thought he was going to say [bleep]. yes he can. i said it twice. >> it would have been the greatest thing ever. >> quickly. i have two minutes. >> if i wanted to take a bunch of prescription pills and learn to speak spanish i would hang out with george lopez for the weekend. if i wanted to take pills and learn german i would go on tour with david hasselhoff. >> what if they are wrong about the pill and it turns out to be a saw -- suppository. >> imagine if you can swallow a pell and learn english?
12:56 am
>> what if you could take a pill and learn to love? >> what would you like to learn? perhaps the alphabet? >> that's why i have the soup and the cereal. >> i would rather have the limitless pill from the bradley cooper movie where he does all of that stuff. >> that was a great movie. if i had a pill i would -- i would want a pill that teaches me how to drive a stick. >> you don't know how to drive stick? >> i kind of forgot. >> i guess it is the number of phone books you couldn't reach the gear shiest. the gear shift. >> i was expecting that to turn into a magic show. it looked like magic was going to happen. >> they are so overrated. special thanks to joanne nosuchunsky and tv's andy levy and lou daabs.
12:57 am
that's it for me. good night and i will see you next time.
12:58 am
12:59 am
1:00 am
breaking tonight, one of america's best allies standing on the brink of all-out war, and the president is once again at a fund-raiser. welcome to the kelly file, everyone, i'm megyn kelly. it is 4:00 a.m. in tel aviv, but no one is sleeping easy. we have now seen 24 hours of hamas rocket attacks almost constantly raining down on israel, our closest ally in the middle east. we have been watching israeli media sites all night as reports of new attacks on israel flash every five to ten minutes or faster. israeli air strikes have been hitting gaza for hours in response. so far today, no casualties reported on the israeli side. that is due in large part to its iron dome


info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on